City Guy In The 'Burbs

Episode Ten

A surefire way to determine if you are in a city or a suburb is to take notice of what people are wearing, particularly during weekdays.  In the city you see lots of suits and workplace emsembles (my description of what many working women – oh, excuse me, women working outside the home – wear to the office).  Overcoats and trench coats are popular, although not as popular as they used to be a couple of decades ago.  In fact, trench coats are now associated more with flashers and disgruntled high school students who might be thinking of shooting up their school. 

In certain cities, like New York and Chicago, you are apt to see true fashion, you know, the trendy apparel that is depicted in glossy magazine ads and billboards.  If you want to learn what the really in people are wearing this year, go to the city.  I don’t mean haute couture, although you’ll occasionally see that too.  Where else would you expect to see a woman strutting down the street in an outfit that looks like a getup from a science fiction movie?  I’m referring to just regular ol’ couture.  The city is the home of Armani, Blass, Versace, Dior, and Prada.  On the street you’ll see eye-popping shirts, fabulous neckties, and a wide assortment of hats, including fedoras, Homburgs, Stetons, tams, and fuzzy Russian cossacks.  Not to mention shoes that would make Imelda Marcos weep, and probably did when she was alive and building palaces to contain her collection.  City women, incidentally, are miles ahead of city men in the shoe department, although I personally wouldn’t want to teeter on four inch heels all day.

Clothing is much more subdued in the suburbs.  And it is only a slight exaggeration to say that everyone looks the same there.  In the ‘burbs the height of fashion is J.Crew, Eddie Bauer, and LL Bean.  Oh, you can throw Timberland in there too.  Baseball-style caps are really big and spandex passes for rich fabric.  In those suburban communities that still bear some of their rural roots, you’ll even see overalls periodically.  When I do I wonder if they are shooting a remake of Green Acres.  In the ‘burbs you never hear the word dapper uttered.

Business casual, a euphemism for plain dress, has taken a lot of the pizzazz out of work fashion.  But the gap between what people wear in the city versus the ‘burbs has remained constant.  While city workers have retreated to button-down shirts and sweaters, slacks, and “sensible” shoes, suburban workers have moved to golf shirts, fleece, and sportswear, including items with pro team logos.  From time to time I’ve even seen office workers in t-shirts with picture graphics on them.  That’s right, office workers.  If I see too many employees wearing Patriots and Red Sox jackets I think the movers have arrived.

I don’t know where this is all headed, but schools have learned that students are more disciplined and perform better when they wear uniforms to school.  Maybe if the workplace reinstated a dress code, we’d see a rise in productivity.  Just a thought.