On days he traveled, Johnson’s worrying started as soon as he woke up. His first worry was that he would miss his plane. This made Johnson rush through his shower and start dressing before he was fully dry. He got so good at this that he could be fully dressed in suit and tie in less than fifteen minutes from when his feet first hit the floor coming out of bed. Johnson would then dash downstairs into the kitchen and scarf down a bowl of cold cereal. He did this because he worried that he wouldn’t have time to grab something at the airport and that there wouldn’t be any food on his flight, even though in his peak traveling years the airlines made a big deal of the food they provided on their flights, including on the LaGuardia shuttle, which wasn’t much of a flight but seemed rather like a takeoff and landing exercise for new pilots.
Because Johnson worried about traffic getting to the airport, he left home easily an hour ahead of when he actually needed to. And because he also worried that he might run out of gas during his drive, Johnson made sure his tank was full the night before. Johnson also had the exact change ready for the toll booths, so he wouldn’t have to wait while a slow toll taker counted out his change. Of course when speed passes came along Johnson was among the first to sign up.
The other reason Johnson left so early was that he worried that the on-premises airport parking garages would be full and he’d be routed to the dreaded satellite lots, which could totally screw up his timing. He had this happen a few times and he nearly had heart failure waiting for the shuttle bus to swing by to pick up other banished travelers like him. And it always seemed to Johnson that he’d be on that satellite bus ready to go, but the bus would just sit there idling and waiting to fill up before heading to the terminals. Johnson worried about that.
So Johnson did everything he could to avoid the satellite lots and instead made sure he could park on-premise. But even then Johnson would worry that he’d have to park on the roof of the garage where his car would be exposed to the weather (one time his car was buried in a snow storm while he was out of town) and he worried about how much longer it would take him to get to his terminal walking down the extra flights of stairs (Johnson never waited for the elevator because it ran too slowly). Johnson also worried about what parking space to take because the ones between two SUVs would make it hard to open his door and he’d be forced to squeeze himself out of the car and he might dirty his clothes or even tear something. So Johnson looked for spaces between two compact cars and parked a little right of center so that his driver side door had plenty of clearance.
Once inside the terminal, Johnson worried that his flight would be delayed, or worse, cancelled, and he’d have to change his plans, maybe even look for a flight on another airline. So he always went straight to the departure monitors to check flight status. Satisfied that his flight was departing on time, he would make a beeline for the metal detectors to get inside security as soon as he could. He knew there could be long lines there, especially during holiday weeks when a lot of families with little kids were heading on vacation, and so he worried he’d be stuck in a slow line. In fact, if there were multiple entry points he always scanned the lines for old people or young families so that he could avoid them.
When Johnson got to his gate he never sat in the waiting area, but stood near the counter so he could hear what the staff were talking about (sometimes you would learn about problems with the plane Johnson used to say) and also to have a good shot at getting on the plane early in the boarding. Unlike other passengers who would wait until the last minute to board, Johnson wanted to get on right away so he could find a place for his luggage. Johnson never checked his overnight bag because he worried it would get lost. So he always carried it on and stowed it in the overhead compartment. And when the compartments were filled, Johnson would cram his bag under the seat in front of him, even though he knew it would wrinkle his clothes. He was worried that the flight attendant would make him check his bag, which, that close to takeoff, would mean there was a good chance it would not make it on the plane. That was a big worry to Johnson. In fact, if he could tell that the overhead compartment above his seat was already full, and he would strain his neck to peer over the passengers walking ahead of him to find out, Johnson would shove his bag in a compartment that was empty before he got to his seat.
At his seat, Johnson warily eyed passengers as they came on board, worried that a young family with a baby would end up sitting next to him. And if it wasn’t going to be a full flight, Johnson would spread his things across the seat next to him to discourage anyone from sitting there, even the person whose seat it was. Johnson thought that maybe if he acted unfriendly the person assigned to the seat next to him might just take another open seat somewhere. That was the best circumstance.
But, if Johnson had the window seat and the person inside him was large, or someone who was likely to fall asleep during the flight, Johnson worried about how he would get into the aisle if he had to go to the bathroom. In fact, not being able to go to the bathroom was something Johnson was most worried about, particularly as he got older and he started having prostate problems. So Johnson usually stood in the back of the plane by the galley until just before takeoff and would make a last pit stop in the lavatory before having to take his seat.
Johnson also worried that the person next to him would be a gabber and disturb him constantly during the flight with inane conversation. To combat this Johnson would take out work immediately to show his neighbor that he didn’t have time for chitchat. The only exception to this rule was if a celebrity or a super model would sit next to him, but that never happened to Johnson.
Even airborne, Johnson’s worrying would not stop. He worried about turbulence. Johnson hated turbulence. Not because he was afraid the plane would crash, but because he was afraid he’d get sick. Getting sick on the plane was a peculiar worry to Johnson because in all his flying Johnson never got airsick. Yet it was a big worry.
Johnson also worried that the plane would end up in a holding pattern somewhere and circle aimlessly over some barren part of the country and turn, say, a two hour flight into a three hour misery. And if this happened, then Johnson worried that they’d be redirected to another airport and he’d have to improvise his plans.
So Johnson was most happy when his flight settled into its landing approach and touched down on time. When the bell sounded to allow the passengers to unclip their beat belts and stand up in the aisle, Johnson would feel the tension in his body drop away. Then, as he made his way out of the plane, Johnson would start to worry about his next trip, and what the weather would be like, and if it was likely to be a crowded flight, and so on.
