City Guy In The 'Burbs

Episode Nine

Walking is another one of those activities like parking (see Episode Three) that has a very different meaning in the city versus the suburbs.  In the ‘burbs walking is “exercise.”  In the city walking is a way of life.

City dwellers are, by and large, great walkers.  Particularly in New York.  They walk to work, they walk to the grocery store, they walk to the pharmacy, they walk to the park, they walk for the hell of it.  Of course, they’ve learned that trying to hail a taxi sometimes can be extraordinarily frustrating.  And you never want to take a cab cross town in Manhattan during the workday.  The gridlock is so bad that you may need to eat your next meal in the darn thing. So walking is the practical alternative. 

Sure, in New York mass transit is always an option, and it can get you close to your ultimate destination, but at some point you’re going to have to hoof it.  It’s part of being a New Yorker.  For instance, when my wife and I were in the city recently visiting our Brooklyn-based daughter, we, as always, walked all over the place.  In fact, once we had parked our car in a safe, non-metered spot on the street (that’s akin to winning the lottery), we didn’t use it again until days later when we left the city.

In a city walking is proletarian.  You are out there with the people.  There are no status symbols, as in driving.  No iconic nameplates or hood ornaments saying you’ve made it big.  Everyone is on equal footing, if you’ll pardon the pun.    

By contrast, it is my experience that few people walk in the suburbs.  All you need to do is take my description earlier of devout pedestrians and substitute driving for walking and that pretty much sums up the difference.  For the most part, if you live in the ‘burbs the car is your umbilical cord, your lifeline to existence.  Without one you are dead, figuratively and eventually literally. 

In fact, the only people I see walking in the ‘burbs are those people who are trying to get in some regular aerobic activity.  In my town they are easily identified.  They are the retirees with their old collies, ambling amiably around the block so routinely you can set your watch by them.  They are the middle-aged couple that strides energetically up and down the main street always holding hands, looking like they’d be unbeatable in some version of a three-legged race. They are the Asian pair in jogging outfits walking purposefully one behind the other, man first of course.  When I pass this duo my competitive instincts kick in and I feel like shouting to the wife, “He’s fading, overtake him on the hill.”

In the ‘burbs there are also other peculiarities associated with walking.  There are those people who get treadmills so they can walk in their homes.  I presume because they…uh…er...um...well, actually, I don’t know why.  You’ll have to ask them.  And there are others who get in their cars and drive to another part of town and then walk.  They are even more bizarre than the treadmill walkers and perhaps would be better off if they had...uh...er...um...actually, I don't know what would make them better off.  You'll have to ask them too.

At times I think we could solve both the energy crisis and global warming if we all lived within an easy walk of a convenience store.